Once Upon a Friday: Gone Terribly Wrong
by Rain-chan
Summary: A party goes horribly awry, Ichigo and Rukia get locked in a closet, Uryu dons another cape, and allaround insanity ensues. Not much of a summary, eh? You’ll have to read to find out what happens…keh heh heh.
1. Friday Begins!

**This is a story for my comrade, I Heart Edward Cullen. She rocks, by the way. This is the first story ever typed on my new (faster) computer! Hooray! Rejoice! Rejoice! Now I have Ichigo on my desktop, and all is good. Nice Vibe. That's what his shirt says. He DOES have weird shirts. Having trouble staying out of the sun…I hate the sun! Yeah, I think I just got sidetracked…as always. So, anyway, this is for I Heart Edward Cullen. Read and enjoy! (I'd also appreciate reviews…)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Seriously, I don't even own ONE COPY of the stupid books! I'm poor!**

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**_Once Upon a Friday…Gone Terribly Wrong_**

**Summary: A party goes horribly awry, Ichigo and Rukia get locked in a closet, Uryu dons another cape, and all-around insanity ensues. Not much of a summary, eh? You'll have to read to find out what happens…keh heh heh.**

_Brought to you by KingdomRaindrops_

_A humorous…albeit weird…story to waste your time reading._

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**7:14 PM, Friday, Ichigo's House**

Like the above subtitle says, it was 7:14 PM on an ordinary Friday night. Ichigo sat on his couch, watching a court show on TV.

If you haven't' guessed by that 'court show' implication, he was bored.

Ichigo had thought it would be somewhat peaceful with his father and sisters gone on a camping trip. He'd somehow got out of it last-minute by saying he had some stuff to study for. Which wasn't REALLY lying, since he did have to train, and, well, that's kind of studying, right?

Suddenly, the phone rang. Ichigo grabbed it without looking and pressed the 'talk' button.

"Kurosaki…ah, whatever. Who is it and what do you want?" Ichigo, as usual, wasted no time on proper greetings.

"Hey hey hey, it's Ichigo, my main man!" came the voice from the other end.

Filled with horror, Ichigo realized too late who was on the other end. "K-Keigo?"

"Hey, you got it right on the first try!" Keigo was once again acting high.

Ichigo sighed. "What do you want?"

"Well, I'd like-"

"I'm here too, Ichigo!" came the voice of Mizurio, cutting Keigo off.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeey." Keigo's whining could be heard from the background.

"Ichigo, your dad's gone for the weekend, right?" Mizurio, unlike Keigo, got straight to the point.

"Uh-huh." Ichigo did not like where this was going.

Just as he feared. "Let's have a party at your place!" That, of course, was Keigo.

"NO!"

"Awwwwwwwwww," whined Keigo. "Why not?"

"Because the last thing I need is for the police to come to my house," said Ichigo flatly.

"You're so mean!" sobbed Keigo.

Suddenly, there was a loud clatter as someone ran down the stairs. Was it a burglar? Ronald McDonald? Or Keigo, using his magical teleportation powers? And…which one is scarier?

Thank goodness, Ichigo did not have to find out. For it was none of those horrors. No, it was a different horror altogether.

"Ichigo, are you on the phone? It's Keigo, isn't it? I can hear his whining all the way from here. Is there anything to eat in this house, anyway? Ichigo, I'M HUNGRY."

Yes. It was Rukia! DUN DUN DUNNNN!

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**7:45 PM, Friday, Ichigo's House**

Hearing the doorbell ring, Ichigo dragged himself off the couch and shot Rukia a 'look'. By 'look', I mean, 'a look intended to cause the receiver pain or ultimately death'.

"I saw that, Ichigo." Rukia didn't miss a beat. "It's not my fault you have weak principles and can't stand your ground."

Ichigo could hear Rukia snickering as he walked slowly, slowly, slowly, to the door.

"ICHIGO! LET US IIIIIIIN!" came Keigo's whine.

"Ichigo, we're COLD out here!" sniffled Mizurio.

"Plus, we brought some friends!"

"Yoo-hoooooo!"

Orihime!

Ichigo was sure if Orihime was there, Tatsuki and Chad were, too. And he was right. But when he opened the door, one extra visitor was standing there.

"…Uryu…?" Ichigo squinted at the clearly irritated person.

"Yes, Kurosaki, it's me. But don't get any ideas, okay? I was practically kidnapped." Uryu pushed his glasses up.

"Aw man, Ichigo, let us in!" Keigo bowled Ichigo over. The rest followed him inside.

A very surprised-looking Rukia sat on the couch. "What are they-"

"Ah, the ever lovely Rukia!" Keigo sang. "We're having a party!"

"…party?" This came from Ichigo.

"Why of course, Ichigo, you sly dog. Don't play dumb!" Keigo bounced around the room. "I even brought sodas! And popcorn! And a scary movie! And a boom-box! And loud CDs! And-"

Ichigo shut Keigo up by smacking him in the face. Mizurio gave Ichigo a thumbs-up.

"I love parties!" Orihime sighed, sparkling. "With the clowns…and the face-paint…and the wild animals…oh, but what if there was a space-man too! And he could be fighting an alien! Oh, run, alien, run!" The she started humming 'It's a Small World'.

The room grew awkwardly silent, except for that humming.

Tatsuki coughed. "Yeah, well, I'm hungry. Who's buying the pizza?"

Rukia perked up at this word. She LOVED pizza. "Ichigo's buying!" she sang, shoving the phone at him.

"I'm what?" Ichigo was bewildered. He had no clue what was going on at the present moment.

"Good boy, Ichigo!" laughed Keigo. "What a gentleman! Buying pizza for his good friends! We appreciate it, and I'd say we'd pay you back, but…the truth is, we wouldn't." Still laughing, he walked into the kitchen to put the soda in the refrigerator.

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**Hmm…I think this is a good place to stop at. You know, I must keep you wanting more! (laughs) Well. As soon as I get a review, I'll update. That means all of you have to review! Or else! (This means you, too, I Heart Edward Cullen)**


	2. No, not the closet!

**If you're reading this, someone reviewed. Yay! I write the chapters when I feel like it, and post them later. Heh heh. So, if you review, the next chapter goes up. If you don't, I hunt you down, and you don't want to know what happens next. Well. Enjoy! (One of my great readers, Sango Hikari, told me a useful bit of information! I curse the translators...) I Heart Edward Cullen has given approval!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. These things get really annoying, you know?**

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**8:30 PM. Friday, Ichigo's House**

Ichigo and company sat in his living room, watching some clichéd horror movie.

"Don't open the door!" cried Orihime. And, of course, the person on the screen opened the door.

"I don't see what's so scary about this," Rukia whispered to Ichigo. "I've seen much scarier things."

Ichigo shrugged. "You'd think people would get used to the plot. Every movie uses the same one."

47 minutes later, the movie was over, and so was the little bit of calmness that had possessed most of the group.

"Wow, that was great!" yelled Keigo, jumping up. "But now we have to get the party started for real!"

"For…real?" Rukia was puzzled. "Is this…not real?"

"Time for crazy party games!" Keigo had already had too much sugar.

Orihime clapped, Chad was…quiet…Uryuu pushed his glasses up, Tatsuki snorted, and Mizurio laughed.

"Ichigo, get the umbrella!" Keigo pointed dramatically to the closet.

"What the…why an umbrella?" Ichigo decided he'd rather not know, and walked to the closet. He was followed by Rukia.

"Why do you need an umbrella?" she asked, while Orihime and Mizurio cheered Keigo, who was chugging more soda.

"I'd rather not know," replied Ichigo grimly. He began to search for the umbrella. "I know it's in here somewhere…"

Rukia decided to help. Maybe this is where the trouble started. Or maybe it started with the phone-call Keigo made. Who knows? All that matters is, at that second, Keigo realized he had forgotten an important tool for this party game.

"The box!" he exclaimed, dropping the soda on the floor. "I forgot the box! We NEED the box!" He surged forward, knocking Chad, who was a big guy, as you know, against the closet door.

Unfortunately, at that exact moment, Ichigo and Rukia were rooting around inside the closet.

INSIDE THE CLOSET.

**8:41 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Hall Closet**

Imagine the surprise of Ichigo and Rukia when suddenly the whole closet went pitch black, and the noises that had previously filled the house gradually faded away.

The two sat there in stunned silence, before Rukia decided to open the door.

"Where is the stupid doorknob?" she grumbled, running her hands up and down, up and down, but still not finding the doorknob.

"There…is no doorknob," admitted Ichigo.

Slowly, Rukia turned in the direction of Ichigo's voice (it was dark in that closet, you know?). "What do you mean, there's no doorknob?" she asked with ice in her voice.

"Well, who needs a doorknob on the inside of the closet, anyway?" Ichigo shot back.

"It might come in handy!" Rukia snapped, throwing herself against the door. "MAKE IT OPEN!"

Ichigo banged his head against the closet wall. "I CAN'T make it open! If I could, do you think I'd still be sitting in here? Do you take me to be that stupid?"

Rukia's silence let him know that she took him to be that stupid. She started to bang on the door. "Hello! We're in here, you idiots! Let us out!"

When no one replied, Ichigo and Rukia realized the grim truth: the rest of the group had gone to Keigo's house to get his party game box.

They were stuck. In a closet. A closet with no doorknob. Which meant there was no way out.

**8:43 PM, Friday, The Street**

"Hey," said Keigo. "Where's Ichigo, anyway?"

"Now that you mention it, Ichigo isn't here, is he?" said Orihime.

Mizurio looked around. "I was wondering why it was so quiet. Rukia's gone, too."

"Were they here to begin with?" Uryuu was puzzled as well.

Chad spoke up. "I don't remember them leaving the house with us."

Keigo scratched his head. "Huh. Maybe Ichigo's gonna make his move."

"Let's just get this over with," Tatsuki grouched, shoving Keigo forward.

**9:01 PM, Fridat, Ichigo's Hall Closet**

Ichigo and Rukia had both given up hope, and sat slumped against the walls in the cramped hall closet.

"You'd better not breath up all the air in here, Ichigo," Rukia said in a bored tone.

"Right back at you, princess," replied Ichigo, equally as bored. Knowing Keigo, Ichigo had no idea when his friends would be back. And even if they got back, he wasn't sure any of them would find him.

"Whose dumb idea was it to let Keigo over, anyway?" Rukia sighed.

Ichigo reminded her who is was that said they should let him come over.

"Psh, it's not my fault you can't say no to me," snickered Rukia. "So, this is all your fault. Besides, it's your closet. YOU should have put a doorknob on the inside!"

Ichigo silently cursed his rotten luck. "Isn't this a great way to spend Friday night?"

"Don't get sarcastic with me. This isn't exactly my idea of fun, either. Hey, is there a light in here?"

Ichigo thought for a minute. Light, light. "Ah!"

Rukia could hear him standing up, and then was startled when things started falling on top of her. "Hey! What's the big idea?"

Ichigo sat down again. "This is the big idea," he said, flicking on a flashlight. He placed it in the middle of the closet.

"Ah, well, I guess you're not completely hopeless," said Rukia. "You at least have a flashlight in here."

"Gee, thanks."

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**Hah hah hah! Trapped in a closet! The suckers! By the way, I came up with the idea for this when I was watching TV, and there was a closet! Only I could turn it into something so marvelous! Where does Uryuu's cape come in, you ask? Keh heh heh…if only poor Uryuu knew what I have in store for him…Review! Now! (By the way, I'm changing my Pen Name. Look for it!)**


	3. Untitled Chapter of Doom!

**The next chapter! The next chapter! I seem to find myself having a lot of time. It's very hot right now…uh…I hate the sun. After this, I'm going to go beat Baten Kaitos again…then play Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance! And then…then I'll eat dinner, I guess. Wait…this is totally irrelevant to the story. Read and enjoy!**

**--The cape comes in! I'll bet you can't wait, huh?**

**Disclaimer: I will never claim to own Bleach, 'cause I don't. And people should use proper grammar! Come on! It's not that hard!**

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**9:30 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Hall Closet**

Ichigo was being driven insane. Slowly but surely.

"Little Bunny Foo-Foo, hopping through the forest," sang Rukia for the 17th time. "Picking up the field mice and bopping them on the head."

"Please," Ichigo groaned, "stop singing that song!"

"But Ichigo, I can't!" Rukia hummed the tune. "It's stuck in my head."

Ichigo thought he wouldn't mind very much if the air in the closet really DID run out, and he suffocated.

"Why is the bunny smashing the mice's heads in, anyway?" asked Rukia, still humming.

"Because they wouldn't stop singing the stupid song," Ichigo grumbled.

Rukia, from her spot in the corner of the closet, kicked Ichigo in the face. "That's not nice!"

Ichigo tried to push her away, but, oh dear, the closet was too small. It was never intended to hold more than a few coats and some odds and ends. And even though Rukia was small, the closet just didn't have enough room to be anything less than cramped.

"Oww!" cried Rukia. "You're gonna break it!"

"Get your foot out of my face, then!" Ichigo yelled back.

"I CAN'T!" Rukia started moving around, but all that did was get her more stuck. "Your stupid closet is too small!"

Ichigo was now being kicked repeatedly in the head. "How is that my fault?"

"Well, it's definitely not mine!" Rukia made the mistake of punching Ichigo in the face. "Oh, look what you did now! Now my arm's stuck, too!"

"What I did? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S BEATING ME UP!" Ichigo cried desperately. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Everything and more." Rukia finally gave up. "I'm stuck."

"No kidding."

"Well, help me get un-stuck!"

Ichigo groaned. "Maybe if we switch sides…" He maneuvered himself so he was sitting next to Rukia. "Move."

Finally, Rukia was able to get un-stuck. But they had a new problem. "Um, Ichigo, you're squishing me."

To his horror, Ichigo noticed that the closet was DEFINITLY not big enough for two people to sit side-by-side. "Now I'M stuck!" He started squirming.

"Ow, stop it! You're crushing me against the wall!" Rukia squeaked.

"Well, what do you want me to do?" Ichigo gave up and slumped against the wall. "We're stuck again."

Rukia took this break in defenses to give Ichigo a good beating. "YOU FOOL!"

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**9:38 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Front Door**

"Now that I have the box, we can start the games!" Keigo proudly held his box aloft as Uryuu rattled the doorknob of Ichigo's door.

"It's locked," Uryuu said flatly.

"We'll just knock, then." Chad banged on the door.

Of course, no one answered, the only people in the house being locked in the closet.

Keigo put his box down. "That's not how you knock on a door."

"The bazooka?" Orihime blinked.

The group stared at her for a few seconds, then Keigo threw himself against the door.

"ICHIGOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," he cried, in his best obnoxious voice. "Let us in!"

"We're COLD!" added Mizurio.

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**9:38 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Hall Closet**

Just as he was about to fall asleep, Ichigo was startled by a horrible whining noise.

"That just HAS to be Keigo," Ichigo said excitedly, realizing that he might yet be saved.

But alas, after 15 minutes, no one had come in.

"Where the heck is he?" came the muffled voice of Uryuu, and the door could be heard rattling in it's hinges.

"I'M IN THE CLOSET, YOU MORONS!" screamed Ichigo, trying to bang on the closet door.

Unfortunately, Rukia was still squished next to him. "Hey, stop that! You're going to kill me!"

Ichigo groaned. "They locked the door. They locked the door!" he sobbed. "Hope is lost!"

"Don't be such a baby," Rukia snapped, trying to move her arm, which was falling asleep. "And I'm getting hungry."

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**10:01 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Roof**

"Put on the cape, Uryuu!" Keigo commanded, handing Uryuu a long red cape.

Uryuu stared at it. "And…what exactly do you want me to do with it?"

"Put it on, duh." Keigo shoved the cape at Uryuu.

Orihime clapped her hands. "And then he can fly through the window! Shoom! Like Superman!"

"Orihime, I don't think it works like that," said Tatsuki.

"Oh." Orihime took the cape. "Then I will fly into Ichigo's window!" She started tying the cape around her neck.

Uryuu snatched it away. "Do that, and you'll kill yourself." He tossed the cape on Keigo's head. "Do it yourself."

"Are you crazy?" Keigo cried, taking the cape off his head. "No way I'd do something stupid like that."

There was an awkward silence.

"So, you think I'm stupid?" Uryuu's voice was ice.

"Uh, n-no," Keigo said desperately. "No! No! Please don't hurt me!"

Mizurio laughed. "Keigo's done it again!"

"Uryuu sure can be scary," Tatsuki commented.

"Like Dracula!" Orihime exclaimed.

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**Oh my goodness! Will Uryuu put on the cape? What could possibly make him do it! Only I know, but you can too, if you review! Hey, that's a good slogan. Well, like I said, review, and the next chapter can be yours! (I sound like an infomercial…)**


	4. Yet Another Untitled Chapter

**And it's up. The next chapter. I think this is the farthest I've gotten on a story in a while. My other stories are on hold (yes, I Heart Edward, even Grape Soda), because our new computer doesn't have a slot for a floppy disk. And that's what all my stories are on. So that sucks. What kind of computer has no slot for a floppy?**

**--And we take a peek into the Soul Society today! And don't you go telling me, 'so-and-so's dead', or 'that is way out of character!', because, you know what? I don't care. And this is really not located any time in the story of Bleach. So I can do what I want with the characters, got it? No one's dead. So there. (Byakuya warning. This is for TheOptimisticPessimist, who requested it!)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Maybe I should copy and paste this each time…no, that'd be too much work, too. You know, disclaimers waste 30 seconds of my life each time I write them.**

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**10:01 PM, Friday, Somewhere in the Soul Society**

Gin rapidly dialed buttons on a phone. "Like greased lightening!"

"Just hurry up," growled Renji. "I don't have all day."

Gin put the phone to his ear. "Hello, is this Byakuya?"

A voice on the other phone answered, "Yes, it is. And this had better be important."

"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" Gin asked, all serious.

"What the-"

"Then you'd better let him out!" Gin hung up the phone and started laughing his fool head off. "This is great! This is truly the most devious plot ever!"

Renji just rolled his eyes.

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**10:03 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Roof**

"Come on, Uryuu!" Keigo whined, waving the cape. "Just put it on. It'll look cool."

Uryuu was getting irritated. He pushed his glasses up.

"Uryuuuuuuuuu!" Mizurio joined in. "Please? Pretty please? With sugar on top?"

"Sugar and tigers and bears, oh my!" sang Orihime.

But Keigo was not giving up. He had decided that he would wear Uryuu down if it was the last thing he did. Okay, maybe not the LAST thing…but you get the point.

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**10:06 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Hall Closet**

"Have you ever wondered why these super heroes wear tights?" Rukia asked, flipping through a Superman comic that had fallen on her head.

"No." Ichigo was trying his best to act grouchy, but he was getting tired.

"You know, if you keep scowling, some day your face is going to stick like that," Rukia said casually.

Which, of course, made Ichigo scowl more.

"And why do they wear their underpants on the OUTSIDE?" Rukia turned the comic book different ways, examining it. "This is just stupid. And unrealistic."

Ichigo thumped the wall with his fist. "Rukia, would you STOP COMPLAINING?"

"Not for that attitude, I won't," Rukia said smugly. Then she picked up a colorful packet that had also fallen, along with the comic book. "What's this?"

Suddenly, Ichigo had a perfect plan to get back at Rukia for all her complaining. "It's…candy…" he said vaguely.

"Hmm…" Rukia examined the packet. "What kind of candy?"

Ichigo shrugged. "Just candy." Ichigo, acting annoyed, grabbed the packet. "You open it and pour it into your mouth, moron."

Rukia played right into his trap. "I know that! I'm not a moron, you moron!" Rukia snatched the packet back.

Ichigo stifled an evil laugh.

Rukia ripped open the packet, paused a minute, then dumped it's contents into her mouth. She sat for a minute, then a strange expression came over her face.

Ichigo waited.

Rukia's hands flew to her mouth. "It's exploding!" she cried, waving her hands.

Ichigo couldn't contain himself any longer. He burst out laughing.

"Ichigo, what did you do!" Rukia was trying to get the candy out of her mouth. "Are you trying to kill me!"

"Relax, that's what it's supposed to do!" laughed Ichigo. "And the expression on your face…priceless!"

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**10:06 PM, Friday, Somewhere in the Soul Society**

Yachiru dialed the phone buttons with lighting speed. "Beep beep beep!"

"Go, Yachiru, go!" cheered one of the peons.

The phone was picked up.

"Hello!" Yachiru chirped. "Is this Captain Kuchiki?"

"Yes." It was…Byakuya! Dun dun dun!

"Is your refrigerator running?" Yachiru giggled.

"What…"

"Then you'd better go catch it!" Yachiru delivered the punch line and hung up.

"Go Yachiru!" Gin patted her on the back. "The oldest one in the book!"

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That's where I leave off, dear readers. This one I actually had to work for. So it may be a bit short. I'll keep 'em coming, if you keep reviewing! I Heart Edward Cullen wants me to add some fluff...so I will! 


	5. Uryuu Has a Cape!

**We've reached 25 reviews! That's like…6.5 reviews a chapter! Yeah! My brother's watching Ben 10...but Ben 10 has more than 10 things he turns into. So now he has no point in living, because basically the only thing that made his life worthwhile was that his friggin' name rhymed. And now it doesn't. So he has no excuse. Execute him! Plus, his hair's as long as that orange-haired chick. That's just wrong. Oh yeah…I accept requests, just so you know. _Sango Hikari_ requested that I put in Hitsugaya and _I Heart Edward Cullen_ requested Kenpachi…Kenny. So I'm throwin' them in! Live with it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. And I don't own Ben 10, because if I did…well, I wouldn't. Feh.**

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**10:11 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Roof**

A lone figure stood at the edge of the roof. A lone figure…in a cape.

Dun dah dun! Yes! Ishida Uryuu had, in fact, DONNED THE CAPE! Why? It may have something to do with the fact that Keigo once got a gold medal in a whining-contest. Or it might not. Who knows?

"I can't believe I'm doing this." Uryuu pushed his glasses up in annoyance.

"You look so cool, Uryuu!" cheered Orihime and Keigo.

Uryuu checked to make sure the rope around him was secure. He may have lost his dignity, but he was not quite ready to lose his life.

"Fly, Uryuu, FLY!" cried Orihime and Keigo.

Uryuu took a deep breath…and then Uryuu flew!

**10:13 PM, Friday, Somewhere in the Soul Society**

Hitsugaya, on his way from getting a popsicle, spied a large group gathered around a telephone. They were poking each other and mumbling. It looked suspicious, so he decided to investigate.

Drawing closer, the members of the group could be heard telling each other to pick up the phone.

"You do it."

"No way. YOU do it."

"I already did it. You do it!"

"No. Make Yachiru do it."

"Yachiru already did it, too!"

Hitsugaya cocked his head. "What are you guys up to?"

At his voice, they all turned around. Gin's smile got even wider, if that's possible. Okay, perhaps it's not. In any case…never mind.

"Oh, good, it's Hitsu-chan!" Gin clapped his hands. "Come join us on our mission to conquer the Soul Society!"

"Using a…telephone?" Hitsugaya seriously doubted it.

"Well…yes!" Gin handed the telephone to Histugaya. "Just repeat after me."

Hitsugaya listened to the ring tone. To his amazement, Byakuya picked up.

"What is it THIS time?" Byakuya snapped. "And it had better be important, THIS TIME, IMPORTANT, or ELSE, I will personally-"

"(((A/N)))" Gin said.

"(((A/N)))" repeated Hitsugaya.

Renji groaned. "These are the worst jokes ever."

"Now quick, hang up the phone!" Yachiru squealed, delighted.

Hitsugaya obeyed.

Gin slapped him on the back. "Welcome to the group!"

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**10:15 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Hall Closet**

Rukia was not speaking to Ichigo. In fact, she had made that very clear.

_FLASHBACK_

"I'm not speaking to you, Ichigo!" Rukia had said.

Ichigo had shrugged, still trying not to laugh.

_END FLASHBACK_

It had been a while, though, and Ichigo had started to feel…bad? Feel…bad? Really? Wait…yes! He started to feel BAD.

And, since he had a conscience, he decided to apologize.

"Look, Rukia…" Ichigo was not an apologizing kind of guy.

_Say 'I'm sorry!' screamed Ichigo's Conscience._

"I'm….sorry?"

_Good, but this time, without the question mark at the end, you moron!_

"I'm. Sorry," Ichigo choked out.

But Rukia, who had her back turned to him, did not respond.

"Hello! Earth to Rukia! I just said sorry!" Ichigo complained.

And then Rukia DID start talking…but she did not say anything Ichigo expected. Actually, she didn't even say anything Ichigo UNDERSTOOD.

"…the getaway…car……" Rukia mumbled.

"…….what?" Ichigo thought he'd misunderstood. Why would Rukia say…

"Drive, Chappy, drive!"

Ichigo sat there with a dumbfounded expression on his face. And that was when Ichigo learned that seemingly-perfect Rukia spoke utter nonsense in her sleep.

And worse, he learned that it was not fun to be locked in a closet with someone who talked while they were sleeping.

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**Yes. That's where I end. I'm seriously running out of those lame prank-call jokes. So help me out? Please? It needs to go on! And on! And Byakuya needs to SNAP! (evil laugh) Anyway…it's a cliff hanger! Hoorayz0rz! And I just learned when Baten Kaitos: Origins comes out! Even better! But the Bleach won't LOAD! That makes me so mad! I could…eat…some French fries? That sounds good. Or a chocolate cupcake. Anyway, you guys are making me work! Thank you! Keep reviewing, and I'll keep delivering!**

**A/N -- You guys! I've completely failed to find more prank call jokes! Please help me or the story can't continue!**


	6. Dreamland on the SS Rukia!

**Ahem. Yes. Sorry this one took a bit in coming. I just got done watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory…you know, the new one? Well…in truth, I've been a little lazy. I'm working on some drawings…I hope to get my scanner hooked up so I can put them online. I'm also addicted to playing my Final Fantasy: Tactics Advance game………I must beat it! I know it's a little late…I mean, the game came out three years ago, or something. But…whatever. It's cheaper when you get it late. Heh heh!**

**Sorry. I'm rambling again. By the way, I Heart Edward Cullen finally wrote me a story! I am so happy I could cry! I won't, because it's weird, but…anyway, check it out! It's AWESOME! Halloween is one of the most fun holidays! Strawberry syrup…parties…So anyway, because she wrote a story, I have to keep my word and deliver some fluff. I hope you don't mind. Actually, if you do, I don't care. Sorry. Really sorry.**

**Disclaimer: I am…disclaiming…er…the ownage of Bleach. But Bleach owns. It owns you all! Sing it! Bleach over all the world! (Like the German national anthem! Which I had to memorize…and then sing….eh. Off topic again…)**

* * *

**10:16 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Roof**

The group assembled on the roof waited for a minute, ears alert, for the crash that was soon to come.

However, the crash never came.

Contrary to Keigo's plan, Uryuu did NOT break through the window. Because, in fact, the window wasn't made of glass. It was made of Plexiglas, which is like glass but much, much stronger. Poor Uryuu.

So, instead of the satisfying 'crash', the group heard a muffled 'thump'.

"'ey, Uryuu, what'd you do?" Keigo called down.

"I HIT the WINDOW," Uryuu snarled back up. "You complete moron! I told you it wouldn't work!"

10:30 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Hall Closet

"But it said…5...minutes," Rukia sighed.

Ichigo had been listening to similar sentences for the past 16 minutes. And, frankly, he was getting irritated. Ichigo decided that it was high time Rukia woke up. He nudged her with his arm.

"Eh…………" Rukia did not wake up.

So Ichigo nudged her again. Harder this time. This time, Rukia reacted in a more 'awake-ish' way. But not in the way he wanted. To his horror, instead of waking up, Rukia turned over, buried her face in his chest, and continued to have her bizarre half-conversations.

* * *

**10:31 PM, Friday, Rukia's Dream World**

Everything was coming up daisies. Literally. The ground was covered in them. If you looked really, really hard, you could barely spot a little road winding serenely along the hillsides.

But the scene playing out there was anything _but_ serene.

A little green mini-Cooper zoomed along at an outrageous speed. In the driver's seat was none other than the famed "Chappy".

"Drive, Chappy, drive!" cried Rukia, sitting passenger's seat.

Chappy twitched it's little bunny nose.

Rukia clicked her tongue. "How many times do we have to be perused by the police until you realize that robbing banks is bad?"

Chappy's nose twitched some more.

Over the hill, several police cars came zooming along. They were being driven by…

Renji?

Yes, each car was manned by Renji. And, as they drove, each Renji lifted up a megaphone at exactly the same time, and, in the exact same tone, they yelled, "Stop, with your hands up!"

"Floor it, Chappy!" screeched Rukia.

Chappy floored it.

The little green car zoomed along, when, all of the sudden, it ran over something.

Ba-BUMP, went the car.

With a twitch of the nose, Chappy slammed on the breaks.

"Hit and run!" screamed Rukia. "Hit and run! Just GO, Chappy!"

But Chappy hopped out of the car and pulled up what they had just run over. It was a very battered…

"Ichigo!" Rukia smashed her fist on the dashboard. "If you are going to deter our escape, just get in!"

Chappy, using super-human…excuse me, super-rabbit strength, heaved Ichigo into the mini-Cooper. Then it hopped back into the car, strapped on it's seatbelt, and sped off again.

"Why are you driving so fast?" Ichigo was bleeding from his forehead. "And…I'm bleeding, by the way."

Rukia stared at him with disdain. "Suck it up, Strawberry."

"I don't want to," Ichigo whined. "It's all bloody!"

Rukia grabbed Ichigo's head and started wiping his forehead on the back seat.

"We have you in our sights," droned the Renjis. The police cars made an odd whirring noise, and lifted off into the air.

Chappy twitched it's nose.

"It's no use, Chappy!" wailed Rukia, repeatedly banging Ichigo's head against the seat.

"Kuchiki Rukia." The Renjis drew closer. "You are charged with burning the popcorn."

"But it said five minutes!" cried Rukia.

"Chappy the Bunny," the Renjis continued. "You are charged with robbing the bank. And Kurosaki Ichigo…"

"What'd I do!" Ichigo shouted indignantly.

The Renjis in their police cars were now directly overhead. "You are charged with hit and run."

"But I was the one who was run over!" screamed Ichigo, face turning red. "I'm going to kill you!"

"No, Ichigo!" cried Rukia, while Chappy twitched it's nose. "Don't do it!"

But it was too late. Ichigo had already brandished his…baseball bat. He jumped out of the mini-Cooper and started waving the bat around like a maniac.

"Come here and face me like a man!"

* * *

**10:31 PM, Friday, Somewhere Else in the Soul Society**

"Who's there?" Byakuya was yelling into his telephone again.

"Banana!" Yachiru chirped from the other end.

"BANANA WHO!" Byakuya had begun to lose his patience after the first seven 'bananas'.

The line clicked dead.

**10:32 PM, Friday, Somewhere in the Soul Society**

* * *

Gin dialed the phone and tosses it back to Yachiru. Yachiru placed it to her ear and waited while it rang, once, twice, three times. Then, like clockwork, it was answered. 

"Who. Is. It," Byakuya said icily. "And if you say banana again, I swear I will personally hunt you down and-"

"Banana!" Yachiru was overcome by a fit of giggles.

"Shh, not yet, Yachiru!" Gin grinned his perpetual grin. "Don't spoil the surprise!"

Yachiru bit her lip. Then, after a moments pause, she delivered the punch line. "Orange!"

"Orange…orange who?" Byakuya, expecting another banana, was puzzled, and just a little bit disappointed. He had been looking forward to ending someone's life.

"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" Yachiru busted out in laughter, and slammed down the phone in a giddy haste.

"Ooh, slide me some skin, little lady!" Gin continued to smile that creepy smile of his, as Yachiru gave him a low-five.

* * *

**10:35 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Hall Closet**

Rukia yawned, stretched her arms, and sat up. Well, she tried to sit up. But she had forgotten that she was stuck in a closet. A closet with no door knob on the inside. She became dangerously irritated. Leaning back, she folded her arms and scowled.

At the sound of someone breathing, Rukia whirled around and brandished the nearest thing, which happened to be a little kid's rain boot. Most likely one of Ichigo's younger sisters.

And, to her immense irritation, she found Ichigo sleeping against the closed door.

"Ichigo!" Rukia screeched, smacking him in the face with the boot. "How dare you fall asleep! You should be trying to figure out a way for us to escape from this tiny prison!"

"For the love of…what the….why…" Ichigo swore and rubbed the side of his face. "What are you _talking_ about? You were the one who fell asleep first! And why did you hit me with a-"

Rukia started flailing her arms around, perhaps trying to be dramatic, or something. The only purpose it served was to get Ichigo even more bruised than he already was. "Ichigo! I am getting this close to blowing down the stupid door!"

"Rukia, would you STOP IT!" Ichigo tried to grab her arms, but was only beat upon even more. "Rukia! RUKIA!"

But Rukia was on a roll. "No! I will not stop it! It's your fault we're stuck in here! It's YOUR fault there is no door knob on the inside of the door! What kind of a moron-"

"We already went THROUGH this!" Ichigo put his head in his hands. "I can't do anything about it!"

* * *

**Um, yeah. I think the chapter is long enough, now. So I have to break it up. But don't worry! The next one won't take nearly as long! (I hope…) I was trying to save my wrist, to prevent Carpal Tunnel. But…it's impossible. Nearly all my hobbies involve my wrist…typing, writing, drawing, videogames, throwing things, swinging heavy objects…shopping…carrying stuff…Rambling! I am rambling again! So, I'm so very sorry. I was getting up to the fluff, but…as I said before, the chapter ran too long. It's coming! I'm working on chapter…something…right now! And, my stories on the floppy got transferred, so…I can work on Grape Soda again! Yay! (By the way, I threw in that green mini-Cooper for I Heart Edward Cullen. 'member? Huh? Huh?**


	7. The Incredibly Long Flashback Chapter

**Here it is. Uploaded for your pleasure. Actually, it's my pleasure too. I enjoy doing this. And the coolest emo ever! Ulquirro! Or something! Oh yeah! Unfortunatly…I shall not get to see him for a very long, long, long time. Oh dear. Anyway, continuing on…um…ideas in action! Oh yeah! I got Zelda trivia questions right three times! That's the most I've ever gotten! Plus, I even guessed on one! Random guessing wins the day!**

**On another note…I'm going to finish up this story soon, and then put up a sequel. So fear not! It shall be called Once Upon a Saturday: The Sequel. Look for it! Coming soon! Don't worry, you'll know when this story ends! It is not dead yet! Unlike the Mushroom Kingdom…So it begins!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I own a bottle of…no wait. I don't. I own a magazine! It's got lots of videogames in it! Hooray!**

**My father says I'm a vampire because I hate the sun. He says that's why I hate mosquitoes so much. Because they compete with me. I think bats are very cute!**

* * *

**10:35 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Front Door**

Although the entire group was getting annoyed, Keigo was getting crazy. As you know, Keigo isn't the brightest crayon in the box…

So there they stood, Keigo with a crowbar, Orihime clapping joyously, Mizurio telling Keigo it was a bad idea, Uryuu bruised and very irritated, Tastuki rolling her eyes, and Chad…being Chad. Keigo was at work on the door, trying to pry it open.

"I WILL get this door open if it's the last thing I do!" Keigo grunted as he heaved on the metal bar. So far, he wasn't having any luck, either. Suddenly, he had an idea. "Hey, Chad, will you give me a hand?"

Chad looked at him. "You know that's…breaking and entering."

Keigo pulled on the crowbar. "Well…he knows us, so…it's not really illegal. Anyway, who cares?"

"Sorry," Chad said. "I won't do anything against the law. Besides, we might damage Ichigo's front door."

A siren was heard in the distance. And usually sirens meant trouble.

Mizurio tried to move Keigo away from the door. "Come on, Keigo. Remember what happened the last time we heard sirens? It was because of you, and-"

Keigo shook him off. "I will not move until this door is OPEN!" he cried, shaking his fist. Then he went back to work.

Mizurio shrugged and took off running. Tatsuki was already long gone. Chad had mysteriously disappeared. Only Uryuu and Orihime were left standing there.

Keigo turned again and saw that they were the only two left. "Hey, Uryuu, would you-"

"No." Uryuu grabbed the clueless Orihime's arm and dragged her away. "Let's leave this idiot alone."

"I'm not an idiot! Keigo whined.

* * *

**10:37 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Hall Closet**

"You know, I still have nightmares about things jumping out of my closet," Ichigo was saying.

Rukia had finally settled down. "Hah, what a baby."

"IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU!" Ichigo shouted, getting angry again. "You are the one who first popped out of there at me! Do you even _know_ how freaky it is to have someone jump out of your closet?"

Rukia pondered this a moment. "Nope."

But Ichigo wasn't finished. "And then, when a Hollow would be around…oh, I was in for it then. You couldn't just wake me up like a normal person, could you?"

Rukia laughed silently.

"No, you had to be…be…oh, I don't know what you had to be! But it wasn't fun! You'd jump up and down on top of me, or you'd smack me in the face with one of those books you're always reading, or…one time you even dumped a bucket of water on me!" Ichigo started laughing hysterically.

"What's your point?"

Ichigo stared at Rukia for a minute. Then he put his face in his hands. "There is not point. I have no point. No point. No point at all."

* * *

**10:40 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Front Door**

"Really, Officer, I'm not breaking in!" Keigo was pleading with a man in uniform. "I know the person who lives here! Kurosaki and I go to school together!"

Officer #1, the one being pleaded to, glanced at Officer #2. "You're using a crowbar on the front door."

Keigo laughed nervously. "You know, there's a funny story-"

Officer #2 sighed. "Can we bring kids to jail?"

Officer #1 consulted a worn handbook. "I think so, for one night anyway."

"All right, kid, come with us." Officer #2 grabbed Keigo by the arm and started dragging him toward the police car.

"Wait!" Keigo cried. "I wasn't breaking in! Ichigo doesn't even own anything worth stealing! I'm too young to go to prison!"

* * *

**10:52 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Hall Closet**

Ichigo and Rukia sat side-by-side in Ichigo's cramped closet, Ichigo looking like an abused inmate who had given up on life, and Rukia looking like a five-year-old who had not gotten her way. Suddenly, Rukia's grouchy expression turned to one of complete horror.

"I-I-Ichigo!" she squeaked, moving as far away from the opposite closet wall as was possible. Which wasn't very far.

Ichigo groaned. "What is it now?"

Rukia lifted a shaking finger and pointed it at the shelf high above. "What is that? It's…horrible!"

Ichigo looked up. He squinted, trying to see, in the limited light, what could possibly be scaring Rukia. Then he paused, and gave this situation thought, which he didn't do very often.

_Rukia is an experienced Shinigami,_ Ichigo thought. _She shouldn't be scared by just anything. So it could be something dangerous…like some sort of tiny Hollow?_ He shook his head. _Then again, Rukia gets scared by lots of things…the garbage disposal…_

_FLASHBACK_

"Ichigo!" cried Rukia, from the kitchen. "Come quick! Ichigo!"

Ichigo sighed, got up off the couch, and went into the kitchen. "What?"

Rukia pointed at the sink. "There's some kind of monster in there!"

Hearing the familiar sound of the garbage disposal, Ichigo reached over and turned it off. "It's just the garbage disposal."

"Garbage disposal?" Rukia, quickly over her fear, walked up and flipped the garbage disposal switch on and off. "Fascinating!"

_END FLASHBACK_

_Then there was that one time with the ATM machine…_

_FLASHBACK_

Ichigo and Rukia were at the ATM machine. Ichigo had explained that you used it to get more money. And, of course, Rukia had wanted to try it for herself.

"You stick the card…no, this card…you stick it in here." Ichigo pointed to a slot on the ATM machine.

Rukia put the card in the slot, like he showed her, but halfway in, the machine pulled the card in. Rukia shrieked. "Ichigo! It…it ATE it!"

_END FLASHBACK_

_And the soda machine…_

_FLASHBACK_

Ichigo's school had plenty of soda machines to get the students hyped up on sugar and caffeine. Rukia, wanting to try one, had asked Ichigo to show her how the machine worked.

Ichigo had picked a soda machine in the emptiest part of the school, so that if Rukia did anything weird, no one would ask any questions. He handed her some paper money. "Put it in here." He pointed to the slot.

"Is this like an ATM machine?" Rukia looked at the big machine warily. She reached out carefully, not sure what to expect, and worked the money into the slot. Suddenly, the money was sucked up into the machine, and Rukia squeaked.

"It's happened again!" she wailed, throwing herself at Ichigo. "It ate it! It ate it!"

"Hey, quit that!" Ichigo pushed her off, glad he had chosen a spot with no people. Rukia could be really weird sometimes.

"What should I do? What should I do?" Rukia cried.

"Press one of the buttons."

Rukia stayed frozen to the spot.

"Oh, come on! It's not going to hurt you! It's a machine!" Ichigo pointed to the buttons. "Here. These are the names of the sodas they have."

Rukia glanced at the words on the big, rectangular buttons.

"Now, press one!" Ichigo was becoming exasperated.

Rukia made no move. She turned and glared at him, as if daring him to try and make her touch it.

"Rukia!" Ichigo groaned. Getting frustrated, he grabbed her hand. "Just. Press. The. Button!"

"No! No! I don't want to touch it! Stop! Stop that!" Rukia stared in horror as Ichigo moved her hand to one of the buttons.

"You are going to press that button, Rukia!" Ichigo stopped. "And you are going to press it on your own. We can take all day if you want. I've skipped class plenty of times…(not for anything like _this_)…_and you will press that button_."

Suddenly, this had become another contest between the two of them. "I will not." Rukia gave him her best glare.

"Yeah, you will."

"No, I will _not_."

"Rukia, you're going to press that button, even if it kills you!"

"It's going to kill me!" Rukia began freaking out again.

Ichigo moaned. "Rukia!"

Rukia tried to run away, but Ichigo nearly yanked her arm off dragging her back. She resorted to screaming.

Finally, Ichigo had had enough. He dragged her hand towards the machine.

"No!" Rukia balled her hand into a fist. "I won't touch it! STOP IT!"

Ichigo pushed the button with her hand. There was a big ka-CHUNK noise, as the soda came out.

Rukia started wailing again. "Look what you've done!"

"What I've done is helped you get a friggin' soda!" Ichigo shouted at her. This was ridiculous.

_END FLASHBACK_ (Wow, that one was weirdly long…)

Ichigo decided that it was probably nothing to worry about…

But Rukia continued freak out. She looked around for a weapon, and, finding none, she became desperate. "Please kill it! Kill it!" Rukia curled up against the wall.

"Rukia, I think you're forgetting that we're kind of stuck," Ichigo replied.

At that, Rukia gave a long wail. Then she turned over and buried her face in Ichigo's chest, and continued to make wailing noises.

"Rukia, you are being…stop it!" Ichigo tried to push her off, but it was very hard to maneuver in the closet. He decided to find the root of the problem. Looking hard at the shelf, he finally spotted what he thought might be the 'horrible thing'.

It was…

* * *

**Hah! I'm so evil, aren't I? Sorry those flashbacks were so long…okay, one of the flashbacks was so long. I really don't plan this stuff…okay, I plan most of it. But some of it…it just happens, you know? I need to play FFX…and FFVII…and…uh, I think that's it. But this chapter came a lot faster than the other one, didn't it?**


	8. Ikkaku's Not Bald!

**Wah, I was watching Alice in Wonderland on my computer. You know. It's a classic. And now I'm doodling around with photos. On the computer. All the while typing. I'm a great multitasker, because I was born in the year of the horse. Hooray! What a nice cemetery…**

**I don't remember what the topic was. These author's notes are totally pointless, so you can just skip them if you want. I don't really care. Of course, you might miss some useful information…possibly…hey, someday, there really might be something important up here! But now we've reached 48 reviews! Thank you, faithful readers! I'll remember you when I'm famous! And Ryou rocks my socks.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, but someday I'll own something else that makes me a whole lot of money. I hope. Then I can go back to that coolio mall in Canada and buy lots and lots of Bleach stuff. Which I don't own. Bleach OR the stuff.**

* * *

**10:52 PM, Friday, Byakuya's Place**

"Hello." Byakuya was reaching the end of his rope, and had thusly become deadly quiet.

"Do you have frog legs?"

"…" Frog legs were an expensive delicacy. Were they suggesting that Byakuya couldn't afford frog legs? "Well, yes."

"Really? Then do you hop to work?" There was another fit of giggles, (this time with many more of the pranksters joining in), and then the line went dead.

Byakuya slammed down his phone. "I am going to _kill_ them."

* * *

**10:52 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Hall Closet**

Where did this part leave off?

Oh yes. With the 'horrible thing'.

It was…

Suddenly, Ichigo remembered where he had hidden Isshin's old-time cymbal monkey. It was one of the cymbal monkeys with the really scary faces, you know? It had scared the heck out of Ichigo when he was 10.

And there it was, peeking out from piles of junk on the upper shelf. Apparently, all the falling stuff had exposed it.

For a second, Ichigo's mind went blank, along with his expression. That was interrupted, however, by a piercing shriek from Rukia.

"Ichigo! Do something! It's creeping me out!" she wailed, beginning to beat Ichigo to a pulp with those fists of hers. "I said, _do something_!"

"Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, Princess," Ichigo grouched. "It's just a cymbal monkey, anyway. And, in case you're forgetting, I can't really _do anything_ about it. I'm STUCK in a CLOSET."

Rukia grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be one of Yuzu's rain boots, and hurled it at the monkey. "Fine, then, if you won't kill it, I will!" But when the rain boot hit the monkey, it just created more terror.

Rukia stared in horror as the cymbal monkey began to clap it's cymbals together. "What's it doing? What's it doing!"

Ichigo decided that, to get Rukia back for continuously hurting him recently, he would just let the cymbal monkey clap it's head off.

But, truth be told, the monkey was starting to scare Ichigo as well. The way it just kept banging…it had been buried in that closet for _five years_. It shouldn't be doing anything. Wait a minute! No one had wound it up for _five years_! So then why…how…what?

Ichigo shrank back against the closet door.

And, once again, Ichigo's Conscience jumped into action.

_You wimp! Exactly how old were you when this thing scared you?_

"Ten…" Ichigo mumbled. Unfortunately, he had mumble this out loud.

"Pardon me?" Rukia stared at Ichigo, instead of the cymbal monkey.

"I was ten, okay! TEN!" Ichigo screamed.

_And how old are you now?_

"…"

_Exactly how many Hollows have you faced?_

"I don't know!"

Rukia continued to stare.

_Why are you scared of that thing? It's a monkey! How scary are monkeys?_

"It has teeth, okay! And it's eyes…they're…" Ichigo shuddered.

_You are unworthy to live! Cymbal monkeys? UNWORTHY!_

"YOU are unworthy to…wait a second! You shouldn't be alive in the first place!"

_So you can't kill me._

Rukia had had enough of this one-sided conversation. Either Ichigo was going crazy, or…no, that was pretty much the only option. So Rukia reached over and slapped him.

"Ow! What'd you do that for?" Ichigo rubbed his face.

_Because she thinks you're a loser, too!_

Ichigo's conversation continued.

* * *

**11:00 PM, Friday, Outside Ichigo's House**

Someone in black was crouched outside of Ichigo's bedroom window, while another person in black finished using the laser to cut a hole in the Plexiglas.

"Got it done, Harry," said the one with the laser.

"Righteous, Larry," said the guy who was apparently named 'Harry'.

The guy named 'Larry' crawled through the hole in the window. "Let's get the stuff and get out."

* * *

**11:01 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Hall Closet**

After several more slaps, Ichigo had regained his composure. "Thanks."

Rukia raised her hand to slap him again.

"Wait!" Ichigo shielded his face. "I'm good! I'm good!"

Suddenly, there was the sound of footsteps descending the stairs.

The two were silent, listening to the approaching footsteps.

"We should be happy to hear footsteps, right?" Rukia was whispering.

"Well…coming from the upstairs?" Ichigo whispered back, suspicious. "I can't think of anyone…"

"Harry, there's a closet down here, too!" The unexpected voice of the intruder was defiantly not from someone they knew.

"Larry, open it up already!" Another voice floated down the stairs.

"Harry and Larry?" Rukia almost laughed, but caught herself in time. But…

"Wait a second, Harry. I think there might be someone in here." Something clicked.

"Larry, don't be so suspicious."

"I'll just make sure, then." Suddenly, the door was flung open, and Ichigo and Rukia spilled out of the closet. At last.

Rukia and Larry screamed at the same time. Larry pointed a gun shakily at the two. "O-okay, stand up. Where I can see you!"

At once, Ichigo realized that this guy was a moron. 'Stand up where I can see you?' Where couldn't he see them? But all the same, Ichigo dragged Rukia up with him.

"H-Harry, I found a couple of kids!" Larry's gun was shaking all over, and Ichigo doubted he'd ever be able to get it straight enough to shoot it intentionally. What a joke.

But things were about to get much, much worse.

For, just then. Larry pulled of the ski-mask he had been wearing. Revealing the face of…

Ichigo was shocked. It was…

"Ikkaku?"

Ikkaku covered his face with his hands. "It's not me! And I'm not bald!" he whined.

* * *

**11:20 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Front Door**

Byakuya stormed up the front steps. "I will murder that boy! I know it's him! I know he's the one behind this!" Casting all his I'm-so-Cool-ness aside, Byakuya kicked open the door with his foot, like the super-spies do. Only Byakuya was no super-spy. He was a man with a mission. And today his mission involved lots and lots of blood.

The door cracked in half, and Byakuya shoved the remains aside. He stomped into the hallway, only to find Ikkaku dressed in black and holding a ski-mask in his hand, and, even more surprising…

Byakuya stopped dead. He stared. He blinked. Then he stared some more. "Are you…are you kissing my sister?"

And indeed, Ichigo was standing in the remains of his hallway, kissing Byakuya's sister. Ahem. _Adopted_ sister.

Byakuya, Ikkaku, and even Rukia, all had a look of complete shock on their faces.

Byakuya gaped. "Are you _kissing_ my _sister_?"

Ichigo stopped kissing Rukia long enough to speak. "What's it look like I'm doing, moron?"

* * *

**11:23 PM, Friday, Somewhere in the Soul Society**

Kenpachi stabbed a fork into the wall, over and over and over again. He was bored. Well, they were all bored.

Gin scratches his head. "I don't get it! How come he's not answering? Byakuya always answers his phone!"

Momo fiddled with her hands. "Maybe he's coming after us."

Histugaya lounged against the wall. "Doubt it."

And, over there in the far corner, Aizen was rocking back and forth. "Don't bother me! I'm cooking up an evil plan!" He rocked some more. And then he started giggling to himself.

All eyes were upon him, then turned away. "Sometimes he's creepier than you are, Gin," Hitsugaya snickered. "If that's possible."

Gin turned to Momo. "Why don't you…"

But Momo was busy, too. Busy ripping up fan mail addressed to 'Histu-chan, 3 3 3'. She stopped. "Um…yes?"

"Hey! Is that my fan mail?" Hitsugaya craned his neck to look at the many scraps of paper that had accumulated around Momo. "I was wondering where the unlimited supply had…hey! Why are you ripping it up!"

* * *

**That's it for this chapter. The story draws ever nearer to it's ending! But not to worry! The sequel will be just as great, if not greater! Anyway, please review! I really appreciate all the readers!**


	9. The Finale! Like, FINALLY!

**Flash videos are just wonderful! But at the place I was looking, they had no good Bleach ones. Seriously. So I watched some Naruto characters jam to music. Ooh yeah! Anyway, here's the next chapter. Nothing important in this Author's Note, so you can skip it while I ramble on for a few more sentences. You see, I've been trying to make the minutes in my story pass slower, because when the clock strikes midnight, well, it won't be Friday anymore…**

**It's August! That means…so many new books! And an old one…that I didn't get when I had the chance. I kind of forgot about it. Oh well. And August means one month closer to Baten Kaitos: Origins, and then some more videogames! The dry summer months are over! Not that I minded them. Woo, Neji Alliance! Gooooo! I can make little people dance on my computer screen! It's so weird! And…there's Hanatarou! I love you, Hanatarou!**

* * *

**11:30 PM, Friday, Somewhere in the Soul Society**

"Gimme those!" Hitsugaya was trying to wrestle his fan mail away from Momo, who had gone into crazed-killer-Momo mode. And frankly, it was kind of scary.

"NooooooOOOOoooooooooOOOOOO!" shrieked Momo. "OoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo!"

Gin was busy playing Dance Dance Revolution, while Yachiru cheered him on and Kenpachi grumbled about killing himself in various ways.

Meanwhile, Aizen was drawing a new evil plan, having something to do with several trapdoors, some random eating utensils, a mallet, the kitchen's butcher knife, and a guy with a chainsaw. He giggled while he drew.

"You know, he's getting rather disturbing…" Gin paused in his dancing and stared through his perpetually-closed eyes. Then he shrugged, and resumed 'breaking-it-down'.

* * *

**11:31 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Hallway**

For a few precious seconds, Byakuya completely forgot about killing. He forgot that the worlds 'kill', 'death', and 'blood' even existed.

But only for a few seconds. This is Byakuya we're talking about, after all.

_Oh crud,_ though Ichigo. _I really didn't need this guy showing up._

_Oh crud,_ thought Rukia. _It's my brother._

_Oh crud!_ Ikkaku whined in his thoughts. _It's Captain Kuchiki!_

_Oh crud,_ thought Byakuya. _What do I do now? They're all looking at me!_

So Byakuya decided to use the words in his vocabulary and get into action. He began by marching up to Ichigo, who had recently finished kissing Rukia.

"I know it was your doing, Kurosaki!" Byakuya roared, stomping his foot in a childish fashion.

"What was my doing, you-" Ichigo began, a clearly puzzled, (albeit angry), look on his face.

"The prank calls!" Byakuya shrieked, picking up a table and flinging it at Ichigo. "I know that was your doing!"

"You're going to hit me!" Rukia screamed, trying to make Ichigo let go of her, but not succeeding.

Ikkaku stood in the corner, looking back and forth between the two opposing sides. "Y-Yumi…I mean, Harry! I need help!"

"Oh, for beauty's sake," said 'Harry', coming down the stairs, now ski-mask-less. "What's the problem? I was looking in the mirror upstairs, and you just had to…"

Yes, it was none other than the 'beautiful' Yumichiki. And he stopped dead when he saw the chaos erupting downstairs.

No one saw the tiny shadow lurking in the doorway.

"Don't play dumb with me!" Byakuya yelled, pointing. "You've been driving me crazy with your prank calls ALL DAY, and to top it all off, when I come in here with intent to kill, I find you _kissing my sister_!"

"First of all, I have no idea what you're talking about!" Ichigo expertly dodged a picture frame that was hurtling toward him. "And second of all, what do you care?"

"Excuse me, I'm still here!" Rukia grouched, tired of being swung around like a rag doll and talked about like she wasn't there.

"Shut up!" Byakuya and Ichigo yelled in unison. Then they glared at each other, and continued yelling back and forth.

Yumichiki looked around again, then turned to Ikkaku, who was cowering in the corner to avoid being killed. "What did you _do_?"

* * *

**11:35 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Front Hall**

Meanwhile, the tiny shadow in the doorway had begun to move. A faint flash of pink could be seen among all that black. Of course, no one was looking. They were all to busy arguing and throwing around heavy pieces of furniture.

So, the tiny shadow moved as close to Byakuya as possibly, slipped something into his pocket, and ran off, giggling.

Which, of course, no one heard.

Just then, Ichigo had a brilliant idea. Since his 'kissing-Rukia-to-cause-a-diversion-to-get-away-from-Ikkaku' hadn't worked out, he decided to try another tactic. He turned his head slightly, still keeping one eye on the 'enemy'.

Rukia was busy beating on him with her fists.

"Hey, quit it!" Ichigo hissed. "Listen, when I give the signal, jump onto my back. I have a-"

"Oh, I know, you have an 'idea'!" Rukia hissed back. "Well, Mr. I-Have-An-Idea. Remember the _last_ idea you just happened to have? That didn't work out so well!" Rukia's voice began to get louder and louder. "I ended up being stuck in a closet with you! And now you tell me to go along with another one of you _'ideas'_? I don't think so, Ichi-"

With her voice getting louder and more annoying by the second, Ichigo was afraid that Byakuya would hear and then his last resort to escape would be ruined. So Ichigo did another very desperate thing. He bent his head down and kissed Rukia. _Again._

Rukia made a muffled choking noise. Ichigo had succeeded in making her shut up. So, in one fluid action, he hitched Rukia up onto his back and ran out the door, leaving Byakuya shouting at no-one and Ikkaku and Yumichiki cowering in the corner.

Then, outside his house, Ichigo pulled out his cell phone, and dialed 911. "Hello, I'd like to report a break-in." Ichigo proceeded to tell the emergency dispatcher his address, and tell them that three or more people had broken into his house. The dispatcher, after telling him someone would be on their way, hung up.

Ichigo grinned. His plan had worked like a charm. If he was correct about the situation, Byakuya, Yumichiki, and Ikkaku would probably all be in the house when the police arrived.

* * *

**11:40 PM, Friday, The Local Jail**

Byakuya, Yumichiki, and Ikkaku had indeed been in the house when the police arrived and, despite protests and various threats, they were carted to jail.

At that very moment, Keigo was staring warily at the three people he was now sharing a cell with. "Um…h-hey. What're you guys in for?"

Byakuya punched the wall, leaving a sizeable dent. "That stupid Kurosaki called the police on us!"

Keigo's mouth dropped open in surprise. "No way! The same thing happened to me! Well, Kurosaki didn't exactly call the police on me, but someone else did."

Yumichiki gasped. "No way! He's such a horrible person! To put a beautiful someone like me in a horrible place like this…"

Yumichiki and Keigo proceeded to cry and tell each other about all the mean things Ichigo had done to them.

Byakuya was steaming in the corner, when something vibrated in his pocket. He jumped, then, even more angry than he was before, he ripped the offensive item out of his pocket. It was…a cell phone?

He flipped the phone open. "Hello?"

"Hey hey, do you have Prince Albert in a can?" (A/N: Yes, I know this one has been used at the beginning. That's the point.)

Byakuya threw the phone on the ground. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

**11:59 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Living Room**

After that long, hard day in H…I mean, after that long, hard day, Ichigo was exhausted. And he had decided he was going to stay as far away from that closet as possible, at least until he figured out how to put a doorknob on the inside of it. He was never going to be locked in that hole again, if he could help it. And so he'd told Rukia to stay away from it as well. Knowing her, if she was stuck in a closet, she'd find some way to get him stuck in there, too.

But at the current moment in time, at one minute to midnight, no one was stuck in the closet. In fact, the closet had been boarded up.

"I really don't see why you had to go and board it up," said Rukia, sitting on the floor against the couch.

"Oh, don't you?" Ichigo sat next to her, flipping through the channels. "I mean, just because two people got stuck in that closet for several hours, that doesn't mean that anyone should _board it up_, now does it?"

"Nope." Rukia flipped through the TV guide. "It was your fault we got stuck in there, after all."

Ichigo snapped his head around. "What?! Oh, and none of this was your fault."

"Nope."

"It was _your_ idea to invite them all over!"

"That's because you spend far too much time by yourself. I did it for your own good." Rukia nodded, agreeing with herself.

"Why you little-"

Rukia put a finger over Ichigo's mouth. "Ah ah ah, you don't want to call me that. Remember what happened last time?"

_FLASHBACK_

Ichigo was at the grocery store, trying to get a soda out of a soda machine. But when he opened his wallet, he was horrified to find that nothing was in it. His first thought was that he'd been robbed. But the second thought that popped into his head had him marching home.

When he'd arrived home, Ichigo had scared both his sisters by busting right through the front door. He ran up the stairs. Ichigo took a second to make sure his door was shut tight, then threw open the closet.

Rukia looked up at him. "What?"

"You took my money, didn't you?" Ichigo hissed, careful not to yell, lest anyone should come up.

"You mean this? Paper money?" Rukia held up several pieces of paper. "I'm a good pickpocket, aren't I? I was waiting to see when you'd notice."

"You little-"

Rukia sat up. "Did you just call me 'little'?"

"That's right, _little Rukia_."

Rukia grabbed jumped out of the closet and grabbed the lamp on Ichigo's desk. "Wanna say that again?"

_END FLASHBACK_

Rukia laughed at Ichigo's expression. She laughed harder, and harder, and harder.

"It's not funny!" Ichigo grouched.

"It is very funny!" Rukia held her stomach and laughed more. She fell against Ichigo, still laughing.

As he felt her shaking against him, Ichigo did a very strange thing. He laughed. In fact, he began laughing as hard as Rukia. He laughed so hard, that he began choking, and Rukia had run into the kitchen, grabbed a pot, and smacked him on the back several times.

"You didn't have to use a pot!" Ichigo coughed.

Rukia tossed the pot behind her. "Yes I did."

"No, you didn't!"

"_Yes_, I did!"

"No, you…" Ichigo decided that it was useless, and gave up. He started actually watching the movie on the TV, which was _Creature from the Black Lagoon_.

"This is really weird, Ichigo." Rukia stared intently at the screen, where a terribly fake black-and-white creature swam around in the water. "Is this entertaining?"

Ichigo shrugged. "A long time ago, I guess."

Rukia continued to fire off questions, one's using the word "why" and "how come". They were becoming increasingly tedious. But then Rukia decided to throw Ichigo for a loop, when the next question that came out of her mouth was, "Why the heck did you kiss me?"

Ichigo's face went red. "Diversion tactic," he growled.

"So, I'm not good enough to kiss, is that it?"

Leave it to Rukia to turn everything into an argument. "Rukia, you are so irritating!" Ichigo flung his head back so that it smacked on the hard part of the couch. He sat there a minute, to allow the bump on his head to develop, and then sat up straight again. He almost smacked heads with Rukia, who had moved to a crouch right in front of him. She was so close, he broke out in a cold sweat.

"Well, Ichigo, guess what?" Rukia leaned closer and closer until their noses were touching. And then she did something completely, totally, and originally Rukia. "NEITHER ARE YOU!" she yelled in his face, twitched her nose, and hopped off.

Ichigo was almost unconscious. He wondered if his eardrums were busted. Hearing Rukia snickering in the kitchen, he was relieved. The clocked chimed twelve times. That horribly terrible Friday was finally over.

* * *

**And so it ends. But! If you review, I shall make a new one! I'm not quite sure if I will on my own, but if you tell me you want a sequel, I'll give you a sequel…a horrible, frightening, disturbing sequel of mayhem and terror. Have a nice day! And thank you so much for sticking with it to the end! I know this chapter took a while…it kind of got lost. But then I found it, and so all is well. And so, this is Rain, saying, dear readers, "Goodbye! For now!"**


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